There are a lot of Legos in my house. Elder Son (let's call him Batman) falls in love with complicated, multi-hundred-piece sets, receives said sets for gifts, puts them together, plays with them for a week straight, and then deconstructs them so that they become part of the great Lego continuum, which can turn up anywhere from the dryer to my bowl of cereal.
Younger Son (let's call him Robin) wants to be exactly like Batman in every way (except, much like the "real" Robin, with three times as much energy and endless not-particularly-comprehensible commentary). Needless to say, Robin would like to amass just as much Lego as Batman currently has, and if the Lego pieces could all be exactly identical, that would be even better.
Batman recently acquired Lego set 8016, the Star Wars Hyena Droid Bomber, complete with three droid mini-figures. (Let's leave for another blog a discussion of why, a long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, they have something named after hyenas.) Robin immediately became the temporary owner of one of the mini-droids, resulting in the following conversation. I am saving it for documentation in case I need therapy or prescription drugs in the near future.
Squabbling along the lines of "I did not!" "You did too!" gradually wears down my attempts to ignore it, and I summon Batman and Robin to my presence.
"What's going on?"
"Robin took my droid."
"I did not!"
"You did too!"
"I did not! This is my droid!"
"It is not! Mom! I put my droid down in a very particular place, and Robin took it!"
"I did not!"
"Wait," I say. "Wait." I repeat this several more times until the "did not" "did too" chorus again subsides. "Isn't there another droid?"
"Yes, but that one's mine, and he took it!"
"Did not!"
"Hang on, hang on," I say. "I mean isn't there another droid. In the house? Right now?"
"Yes, but--"
(me, interrupting) "So go find that one, and then you'll both have one."
"No," Batman explains in exasperation, "we have two, but Robin has mine. I put it down in a very particular spot, and Robin took it."
"Wait," I say. "You have two droids?"
"Yes." They both open their hands to reveal two seemingly-identical little, brown droid guys.
"But Robin has mine."
"Is there some difference between them?" I ask, waiting to be told that the blaster or jet packs or whatever are entirely unique.
"No."
"No?" I ask. "No??" They shake their heads. "Give them to me." I juggle the droid figures around in my open palms as they watch. "Here." I give one droid to Batman and one completely and totally identical droid to Robin. "You're both nutcases," I tell them. They laugh and run off to lose the droid guys in a Lego pile not so far away.
