Sunless Non-Tanning

So I had a sunless tanning "accident."  My skin is generally so pale that I could convince people of the existence of vampires if I shunned sunlight.  And I should shun sunlight because I can get a sunburn standing outside for fifteen minutes at 10:30 in the morning.  So I'm always thinking I should try these sunless tanning lotions, though in the past they haven't darkened my skin much at all.  

I'm not sure what went wrong this time.  Maybe I was in a hurry?  Maybe I was tired?  (I applied  the sunless lotion, the first time, around 11:00 p.m.)  Maybe I shouldn't have saved the stuff from last year?  (Hey, it says it doesn't expire until 5/09 . . . I thought that was the year.)  Anyway, I ended up looking like I either had some sort of bark-like skin disease or I was maybe, gradually, turning into an Oompa-loompa.  In a streaky sort of way. 

First I tried to fix it by applying the sunless tanning lotion in between the streaks and swirls.  This didn't really work, plus I ended up with several more streaks and swirls.  I tried this twice a day over three or four days.  So it really, really didn't work.  I wore black stockings to an event last Thursday, and if you looked, you could see the blotches through the hose.  (No one was looking.  It wasn't that kind of event.)

Anyway, I went online, of course, and googled "sunless tanning remove" and got a great, hysterical site with lots of good advice.  The main gist of it was, however, "just wait; it's not permanent."   :Resigned sigh:  Maybe what I'd wait on was taking the kids to the new pool we'd signed up for--just until I didn' t look like a mad scientist's skin grafting experiment.

But then something interesting happened.  I put bug spray (non DEET, mostly citronella) on the kids and myself so we could survive on the deck for half an hour, and when we came in, I grabbed some baby wipes and rubbed the bug spray off everyone.  When I rubbed it off of me, my baby wipe came away strangely orangeish.  Wait . . . orangeish??  Could it be?  YES!  Baby wipes remove the color from sunless tanning products.  At least the Huggies one I used did.  And I think it was the baby wipe and not the bug spray/baby wipe combo.

I know.  Moms everywhere are nodding in understanding, not surprised at all.  Baby wipes are the secret mom weapon.  They get out grape juice and pizza stains.  They clean sticky fingers of toxic goo.  I should have thought of them earlier.  Now all I have to worry about is my swimsuit fitting!

The Outlaw Demon Wails - Kim Harrison

This is book six in the Rachel Morgan series, and I've read and enjoyed all six.  The series takes place in an alternate here-and-now, where vampires, werewolves, witches, elves, and demons all more or less co-exist with humans.  It's a bit like Laurell K. Hamilton without the pointless sex.  (The series has sex.  Just not pointless sex.) The characters are truly unique and engaging, and Harrison draws you in and makes you care about even the ones with insignificant roles.   (More about this new gargoyle, please!)  The reintroduction of Marshall is a solitary example of a character I don't really care about.  His presence feels pointless (except to develop more relationship angst, see below).

Harrrison does a great job of catching you up if, like me, you have trouble remembering any but the most sketchy details from the previous books.  Still, despite the plethora of back story, I think you'd only be deeply, deeply confused if you were reading these out of order.  (Dead Witch Walking is the first one.)

One of the author's weaknesses is a way-too-realistic emphasis on relationship angst.  Sure, Rachel's life is 100% screwed up, and any normal person would spend at least as much time worrying about it as she does, but reading about her worrying about it gets a little old.  Plus the whole "Oh no, has my relationship with Ivy changed?" thing is now tedious.  Let's just write down on a pad of paper that Rachel and Ivy are in it for the long haul.  Refer to as necessary.

Another thing I occasionally find irritating is Rachel's charming recklessness.  It's fun most of the time (and I realize she and the author are trying to tone it down this time around), but sometimes she just seems stupid.  If I can remember that her kitchen is not on hallowed ground, she should be able to, even when distracted.   And she takes the word of other characters far too easily for someone who traditionally questions everything.

Still, all of the negatives are outweighed by my genuine interest in the characters and a great sense of pacing.  Would I read it over?  Probably not.  Am I eagerly awaiting the next one?  Absolutely.  And I'm hoping the gargoyle gets a bigger part.

  

(R rating: some sex-like vampire bloodlust, some violence, some swearing [including pixie swearing, which is  more fun than offensive].  This particular volume is probably closer to PG-13, but the series as a whole has an R feel to it.)

Thanks, Wildcat!

Hey, my friend Wildcat made me cookie graphics!  Aren't they cool?  (See the sidebar on the right.  Or go back and look at the reviews, now with cookies.)  

Check out Wildcat's highly humorous site The Wildcat's Lair, and stay tuned for more book reviews WITH cookies!

Teacher Gifts

It's that time of year again, where the school year is spiraling to a close like a penny down a coin vortex, and some of you are thinking about teacher gifts.  This is my eighth year teaching middle school, so I do have some ideas on the subject.

First, it's not necessary to buy teachers gifts at all.  The teacher will not think less of you or your child and will not miss a gift he or she doesn't get.  I know some teachers who would prefer not to get any gifts at all.

That said, maybe you'd really like to show your appreciation, and you're looking for something that best accomplishes that.  The simplest way to go is to write a heartfelt note.  This may seem like too little or too lame, but believe me, a genuine note can really make a teacher's day.  Particularly at this time of year when students' minds are already on vacation and they're telling me things like "is" is a noun and "of" is a verb, some genuine appreciation goes a long way.  The way to write a truly valued note is to be specific.  Has the teacher gone above and beyond in some particular way for your child?  Does your child really have a connection with that teacher?  Could your child write the note?  A note that says, "Thanks for being my teacher.  I learned a lot" is not going to be memorable or meaningful (particularly if "alot" is spelled as one word).   But a note that mentions an incident in class, an interesting thing the child learned, or special attention a parent is grateful for will really stand out.

You don't have to spend a lot (two words) of money to thank a teacher.  The best gift I received was for my birthday.  One of my students had been telling me all week that he was going to buy me something for my birthday, and all week I'd been telling him it wasn't necessary.  On my birthday, there was a lunch cooler on my desk.  Inside was a chilled Dr. Pepper and a printout of funny English errors from an internet site.  There was also this note, "Sorry, my mom wouldn't take me to buy you anything, so I got you this."  But it was a great gift!  Dr. Pepper is my favorite soft drink, and he had paid attention to something particular about me as a person.  Also, he had thought of it himself.  

So you don't have to spend money, but if you want to anyway, here are a few more ideas.  Avoid things that are specific to a sense of style or taste unless you really know what the teacher likes.  Contrary to popular belief, not everyone likes candles, and there is such a thing as too much bath soap.  I can go either way on candy.  It's one size fits all, but, let's face it, teachers can be a sedentary bunch (it's all that grading).  Do they really need the extra calories?  A fruit basket with some funky, seasonal fruit might stand out more.

Gift cards are, of course, always appreciated.  Most teachers supplement their classroom supplies out of their own pocket, so gift cards to an office supply store or a bookstore are good choices.  (When buying bookstore gift cards, don't forget local independent bookstores.  You can buy a gift card from www.booksense.com  that your favorite teacher can spend at independent bookstores all over the U.S.)  Other gifts I've appreciated were a gift card to get my nails done (chalk: bad for nails) and a mother actually packing me lunch for a day (one less thing to do--yes!).

This is not to say that I haven't appreciated every single gift I've ever received.  I have.  Whenever someone takes the time to say "thanks," it gives you a warm feeling.  However, as you search for the perfect gift, I'll leave you with this final thought that I got from a really great room mother.  She told me, "I try not to give things that require dusting."  Yep.  That's a good one all right.

The Light-Bearer's Daughter by O.R. Melling

This is the third book in Melling's excellent "Chronicles of Faerie" series.  The first is The Hunter's Moon and the second is The Summer King.  All three stories are connected, but the characters reoccur only peripherally.  I read somewhere that all will be rejoined in the fourth and final book, so I can't wait for that one.

In this book, Dana, who is being raised by her father in Ireland, is tapped by the Queen of Faerie to go on a special quest.  Melling does a fabulous job in all three books of capturing a real feel for Ireland as well as for the Faerie realms.  All of her characters have depth and passion, and it's easy to care for them.  Some parts could have been developed further and allowed to gain more impact, but perhaps it's my fault for not lingering longer.  I admit that I rushed through in my eagerness to devour it.  If you're paying attention, you'll make some of the critical connections well ahead of time, but the outcome is satisfying either way.

I highly recommend this series to anyone who has enjoyed Susan Cooper or C. S. Lewis, or who simply likes fairies and Ireland.  It is well-written, engaging, and fun.

 

(PG rating: no bad language, young adult pov more accessible to 6th grade and up)

Cracker! The Best Dog in Vietnam by Cynthia Kadohata

I just finished this great dog book.  I'll give it 4 out of 6 stars (or maybe I should make that cookies).  Five cookies would be "I can't wait to read it again," and six would be, "I'm soon going to have the opening paragraph tatooed on my leg."  (I don't read many sixes.)

Anyway, it was recommended at a young adult book seminar I go to almost every year, and it mostly lived up to the buzz.  It's about a dog handler and his German Shepherd and what they go through during a small part of the Vietnam war.  Particularly well-done were the parts from the dog's point of view.  Normally, I'd shy away from anything told in an animal's pov, but this is neither mushy nor hokey, and it's pretty much what you were figuring your dog was thinking anyway.  ("Should I bite that guy on the nose?  No?  Well I could if I wanted to.")  Another plus is that I didn't know anything about dogs being used during the war, so it was also interesting in that regard.

This next part might be a little bit of a spoiler, so stop here if you don't even want a hint about the ending.  (Why are you still reading?)  I have to admit by about page ten I had already decided that I couldn't stand it if this turned into the

 kind of "classic" where the dog gets killed off to add pathos and drama to the story.  And since Cynthia Kadohata is a Newberry winner for the very sad (I've heard) Kira Kira, I was wary.  So I did something I never, never do.  I read the last five pages first.  And then I kept reading the book.  I'm not saying nothing bad happens at all, but I kept reading.  And I'm glad I did. 

(PG-13 rating: only mild language, some violence--hey, it's war)

I am not unique!

So, I have this weird spelling of my first name: Katharine.  With an A. Or two, really.  Growing up I found it irritating to always be correcting everyone.  (Everyone except my piano teacher, who said he was only going to learn one way to spell it, so he'd learn my way.)  I kept waiting for someone to give me a cool nickname that would stick.  Not much luck there.  Somewhere around college, though, I decided that I really liked the fact that my name was spelled differently.  It set me apart from most of the other Katherines and Catherines.  (My college registrar told me, by the way, that there are eleven different ways to spell this name, at least that she'd found.)  

Of course, I know that Katharine is not a completely unique spelling. After all, Katharine Hepburn spelled her name that way.  Katharine Kerr is an author who spells her name that way.  Katharine Graham of the Washington Post spells it the "right" way, too.  As you can see, I sort of collect Katharines.

However, all this time, I did at least think that my strangely-spelled first name and my middle name, Thayer, made an unmatched combination.  Imagine my surprise, then, to see in the Richmond Times-Dispatch recently, that there is a Katharine Thayer Bigelow (married to the brother of the Richmond guy who is going to marry George W.'s daughter, if you can follow that).

It was disconcerting.  I can't get it off my mind.  I'm not as unique as I thought I was.  Or at least my name isn't.  So now I want to write to Katharine Thayer Bigelow and find out where she got the combination.  Did she get it from each of her two great grandmothers?  Are we somehow related?   Of course, this means I should probably also write to the Katharine Thayer who is a photographer and the Katharine Thayer who is an obgyn.  (Google is a wonderful/scary thing.)  Are we related?  Do they have trouble getting people to spell their name right?  Have they ever found a mug or a rubber stamp with their name spelled correctly on it? (I actually did once, at Disney World.) 

I'm going to have to bring this up with my parents!  How dare they name me something so common?  Clearly the search for the cool nickname must continue.